1. |
make me young
01:16
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make me young
make me young
give me reason to sing this song
let some poor soul hum along
learn from where I went wrong
I've got growths all across my body
I've got blood vessels in this frame
and I know, yeah I know
these thoughts shouldn't drive me insane
But they do,
oh, it does
and I'm worried it's because
all those things I thought I was got
muddled with what I've become
do I come across too pessimistically?
i know "myself" is a beautiful thing to be
life looks down with sincerity
and yells
"Mostly great,
but sometimes pain,
that's fine (?)"
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2. |
red hot
01:21
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u red hot iron handle melting into my clenched fist
I said "I think that's about as much as I can handle"
"But, this is the best for us both," you hissed,
"And I've been told that when u go you'll be missed
I've been running on spite the past six years or so
and you know how that goes!
Like yeah, it works, but I'm bitter and I'm getting worse
But I can cry now, that's a first, but
nobody told me how much it couuuuld [hurt]
u red hot iron handle melting into my clenched fist
I said "I think that's about as much as I can handle"
"But, this is the best for us both," you hissed,
"and I know damn well that when u go you'll be missed!"
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3. |
bathing & other luxuries
01:32
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i wanna have my cake and to eat it too
and wake up every morning next to u
I wanna feel ur hands on my chest again
and i wanna feel, like i'm at my best again
so i'm tryna get my hands on some estrogen
i wanna have my cake and to eat it too
like when it starts to rain but the sky stays blue
i wish that we could make out on the front yard
i'll handle the embarrassment it's not that hard
i've been taking baths of lavender,
hyacinth and honeysuckle,
in hopes that their qualities will diffuse
and i can be sweeter to u
can I be a flower? pressed into the pages of your life?
I'm just worried
you'll handle me improperly
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4. |
white noise
00:37
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razor blades in my throat
spit them out and i start to choke
sometimes i see humanity in your eyes
but most times it's just violence,
it's white noise, or police sirens,
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo
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5. |
tired, always
03:05
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old man asks me why the kids are tired
when he didn't sleep til he was 30
"I don't know what to tell you, man
it's not like I don't get enough sleep
but when I'm awake, all I do is worry
responsibilities weigh down on me
like an anvil on my chest
I just need to lay down, close my eyes, and get some rest.
I wanna visit family
communicate naturally
I keep saying I'll do these things
when I have the energy
I'm just so tired, always
I'm just so tired, always
I'm just so tired, alwaaaays
Some days I wake up, aching to be someone else
not that there's much wrong with being myself
at the risk of sounding ingrateful,
I just fear my wants are insatiable
I'm just so tired, always
I'm just so tired, always
I'm just so tired, alwaaays
I'm just counting down the days
til this life don't feel quite the same
and I'm not so used to disappointment
that when a good thing comes my way
I don't expect for it to change
just blow up in my face
or sit around and wait
wait for it to decay
I got so used to disappointment
that when a good thing comes my way
I don't expect
for it
to stay
at all"
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6. |
space in my <3
02:05
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who knew roads could get so lonely?
all these truckers, probably
I just wish someone would have told me
how I'd miss your company
she left all this space in my heart
and all this time to kill
but I don't go outside
and that space is hard to fill
hook a left into Sperryville
what a taunting daydream
to be with you by the water, still
feels stolen from a movie scene
she left all this space in my heart
and all this time to kill
but I don't go outside
and that space is hard to fill
it was raining
there and back
I was waiting
on a panic attack
to drive my car off the road,
like with you, I'd leave them all
it doesn't help much, truth be told
but it makes my problems feel more small
she left all this space in my heart
and all this time to kill
but I don't go outside
and that space is hard to fill
she left all this space in my heart
and all this time to kill
but I don't go outside
and that space is hard to fill
but it's okay
I'm getting used to feeling empty anyway
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7. |
DFN
02:03
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don't feel nothing
don't feel, nothing at all
don't feel, nothing
don't feel, nothing at all
I've been trying so so so so hard
to find a catalyst to blame
or a root, to tear out
anything I can point my finger at
so I don't seem so obsessed
whenever I start freaking out
do you feel that black pull of catharsis
am I all on my own?
does anger all feel placeless,
does flagellation feel like home?
can you see it on my face
how horribly it all feels wrong?
so I don't feel nothing
don't feel, nothing at all
don't feel, nothing
don't feel, nothing at all
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8. |
forest jamz
02:41
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it doesn't rain anymore
it just pours and it pours
it doesn't rain anymore
it just pours and it pours
I feel selfish and stupid
quietly calling out for more
I can be ur sharps container, have balloon fights in december
we'll have a great time, as far as I remember
once again my meds are low
I know it won't kill me but I still get these urges real bad
and it hurts the soul and body so :'(
it doesn't rain anymore
it just pours and it pours
it doesn't rain anymore
it just
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9. |
big things to do
01:45
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I might be gone for a while, by the way
gotta pick every wildflower on the highway
bundle them up and give it to u
it's one of my many big things to do
after that I have to save the bees
I wasn't thinkin 'bout the pollen they need
when I was picking all those flowers for u
and I'd hate to see u blue
so I add it to the list of big things to do
feeling like disconnected parts of a dynamic whole
my head is heavy, and my heart feels too full
too full but does not yet runneth over
when it's all done I'll be running over
to u
the last thing on my list
of big things to do
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10. |
||||
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I saw David Johansen singin' to an empty room
I saw neo fascists dressed as holy men.
I saw caskets driving down the interstate
I felt the temperature was changin'
There was static on the radio and I turned it up.
We're all gonna get what we have coming to us.
We're all gonna get what we deserve.
Spools run out of thread.
One day our lungs are gonna run out of breath.
We're all gonna get what we deserve.
Well the lights are blinding and the air was filled with smoke.
The acidic smell of vomit crept up my nose.
I saw tempests in the desert.
I saw a nuclear horizon.
I heard the pipes creak and moan.
We're all gonna get what we have coming to us.
We're all gonna get what we deserve.
Spools run out of thread.
One day our lungs are gonna run out of breath.
We're all gonna get what we deserve.
I saw "fear it" written on a bathroom wall.
I saw the truth spray painted on a passing box car.
I was lost in America but I still had hope.
I heard the applause and I saw David take his bow.
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11. |
Feel Like Shit
01:33
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feel like shit most days of the week
and most weekends too
i've been trying real real hard
to keep my distance from u
sometimes i feel like im moving on
but my problems are moving too
I know
i'm hard on myself
but I can't take it from anyone else
so I spend my days in front of the mirror trying to figure out
what it is that makes me "myself" to strangers
and those that I care about
but no matter how hard I stare i just
can't make it out
I've got to admit
all of this
makes me feel
like shit
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12. |
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You stopped hanging out at the park
when Mary told that it was cursed,
but I never got it.
You like ghosts,
You hold them in your hands
and bum their smokes.
I haven't been your lover in quite some time
but we talk on the phone every once in a while.
Last I heard, the ground had moved
you wished so bad it would take you.
Go if you want to.
You can go, no one will stop you.
Go if you want to.
You can go, no one's gonna stop you.
Amy told you that she's a healer,
went on a one week retreat and won't stop telling me
that I need to smoke more weed.
The worst part is, that maybe she's right
but her mom pays her rent
and I don't have the time.
I'm meeting with old contingencies,
it's becoming clear they want
nothing to do with me.
(The future wants nothing to do with me)
Go if you want to.
You can go, no one will stop you.
Go if you want to.
You can go, no one's gonna stop you.
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13. |
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I gave birth to body white
Collected to my thighs
Held her there, between my legs
And brought my knees up high
And she slid out, I don't know how
She slid out, I don't know how
And you left your me, all in the leaves,
Gathering sweat from the graves
And you body sister, I brought you a cistern
From what holes I cannot pray
But I'll go and be brave
I'll go and be brave
I only have faith in what is good
And what is good
I knew a boy who built an aviary
He gathered all the wood that he could carry
I pulled from his chest again
Blind from the bees
And we exchanged helium,
Because we're tired of ceilings
I found him blocked out, like a jarhead
His antlers fall seaweed from an ocean bed
And he carried carvings of his own geography
But had he stabbed his own eyes out so he couldn't see
I said, 'I don't wanna be your wife.'
I couldn't stand to do this my whole life
My breast milk is heavy,
And you don't have the strength to help me with this baby.
And where do we pull out of each other
I ask you if you can tug me off
You ask me if I can push you out
You ask me if I can push you out
Like one wood fire, and drag this shit from each other
All the fluids, from your mother.
I can barely stand, in your late disease again
With your vomit up to my waist
And in the hospital they asked me
If I know where your parts go
But I tell them your body isn't made from skin they know
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14. |
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I'm as mild mannered as a girl can be
And I've never done them harm as I can see
yet they institute care bans
and throw drag queens in the can
they go wild, simply wild, over me!
Oh the cop, he went wild over me
Waving his gun where everyone could see
he was breathing mighty thick
when he saw I had a dick
he went wild, simply wild, over me!
And the judge he went wild over me,
Said "the intention was prurient, clearly"
so I let Roberts obey
what the FedSoc had to say
they went wild, simply wild, over me!
And then the jailer he went wild over me
When he locked me up and threw away the key
And he took away my toys,
and my cellmate is a boy
'cos it's that or live in solitary!
They go wild, simply wild, over me
I'm referring to the fascists in the street
the same ones in my requests
pleading for pictures of my breasts
they go wild, simply wild over me!
Will the roses grow wild over me?
When I go on to that land that is to be
When they dig up all my bones,
will they find that I grew old?
Will the roses grow wild over me?
oh then oh G*D he went wild over me!
Surprisingly, with the most sincerity
he said "my dear, you did just fine,
I gave you grapes and you made wine!"
he went wild, simply wild over me!
Yeah they go wild, simply wild over meeeeeeee
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15. |
Stuck (Live)
02:02
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I feel like one dead tree stuck in a field full of color
or a bottle of beer that gets stuck in the cellar
i wanna feel graceful or inspired
touched in the heart by the love of another
I'm finding dried out four-leaf clovers
in the books you gave to me
but a leaf fell off,
what once had four
now has three
now, i'm wondering
does it remain what is used to be?
and can I count on it to be moderately lucky?
I've become too familiar with this view from my bedspread
all tattered and torn up it fills space in my head
where thoughts and my feelings should probably go
if I had a voice left it'd say "leave me alone"
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16. |
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The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
And instructions for dancing
But I, I love it when you read to me
And you, you can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I, I love it when you sing to me
And you, you can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I, I love it when you give me things
And you, you ought to give me wedding rings
I, I love it when you give me things
And you, you ought to give me wedding rings
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17. |
If Not For You, Virginia
02:10
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i dream of barricades in barcelona
burgeoning beliefs of freedom
the people all around me have
won their lives, they're singing songs of martyrdom
i can see, cafes in paris
dancing between ethereal and unreal
how their words ring true
this dream is only missing u~~
how much of a fool was i to think my place would be anywhere else
than in ur arms again, Virginia
to be in ur arms again
caravans in constantinople
could not contain my joy
when i saw myself for the first time
"praise god, I'm no longer a boy"
i've seen three centuries grow old
just like the narrator foretold
despite my deepest fears
I haven't got sick of being here
how much of a fool was i to think my place would be anywhere else
than in ur arms again, Virginia
to be in ur arms again
to be in ur arms again, Virginia,
u just tell me when :*
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18. |
Raw Reddened Fingers
01:32
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beep boop tss tss
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19. |
Christian's Song
01:44
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wewewewewewewewewewewewewewew
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Guinevere Tully Virginia
Check out my bands:
thefirnats.bandcamp.com
ekkoastral.bandcamp.com
D.C. (Well, Virginia, but u know how it is)
Guinevere Tully recommends:
This is good because I'm in it!
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